If you’ve been voraciously googling me because you need to uncover all of the intimate details of my life before you date me, and you weren’t satisfied with this infographic about me, then I wrote this post for you. Here’s a glimpse of what you may actually be getting yourself into.
I am fiercely independent. I do lots of things entirely on my own. I’m generally not afraid to complete my own household repairs, and I can at least give the appearance of “having it all together” because I have life insurance and make my own dentist appointments. I get that that can be intimidating for some reason, but just because I can function on my own, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want or need you. (Awww.)
My hair is everywhere. I was blessed with thick gorgeous hair that I’m currently wearing at a medium length. Be fair warned, my hair is literally everywhere in every room in my home, on every surface, and in every drain. If you date me, you should expect to find strands of my hair on your clothing, and on every surface in your home too. Probably even in your gym bag and in other places I’ve never even been. It will keep you honest.
I listen to audiobooks more than I listen to music. I know basically nothing about music outside of punky-poppy early 2000’s boy bands. I sometimes go through periods of time when I listen only to instrumental music or no music at all. I also like some indie-folky stuff. See? I lack even the basic language to discuss music genres. I’ll listen to your mixtape. I may even make a mixtape for you. But that’s the best I’ve got.
Sometimes I’m emotional. I cry when I’m sad and happy and happy-sad. I also cry when I’m super pissed off. You’re just going to have to weather the storm. I’m sometimes overcome by waves of hormonal emotion around the time that I would normally get my period, but also I’m sometimes it has nothing to do with that. And for crying out loud, do not ask. Just wait it out, or start making your way through this list of 101 things that make me happy.
I celebrate non-conventional holidays. I make a huge deal about birthday month, half-birthdays, and Pi Day. I prefer to spend Thanksgiving watching tv and eating Chinese food. I can say with confidence that I do not want roses on Valentine’s Day (really, I don’t). I’m not crazy about #worldemojiday or #nationaltalklikeapirateday but I do look for reasons to celebrate.
I insist on paying about half of the time. I’m writing this about three weeks before I become a broke college student again, so who knows what the future holds. Probably less expensive dates. I pay about half the time, because I expect to have a pretty egalitarian relationship with the person I’m dating. That means I’ll also cook and clean about half the time.
I’m a picky eater. I do *try* to be more adventurous, but it’s a work in progress. I don’t like seafood, mushrooms or olives. I eat meat sometimes, and I could pretty much live off of tacos, burgers, and breakfast foods. I like most fruits and veggies. I only tell you this because you’ll be cooking about half the time. 😉
I fall asleep during movies. If you ever get to a part of movie that’s especially happy or sad and I’m not crying, that’s probably because I’ve fallen asleep. I’ll fall asleep in the middle of the day if the movie is long or just not that interesting. Taking me to a late show is also a risk. If you’re a fan of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or other movies that are like six hours long, then you should be content to watch while I sleep soundly beside you–I won’t even making it through the opening credits.
Sometimes I make the first move. I recently read Aziz Ansari’s book Modern Romance, and I learned that, at the time of writing, only 12% of women had asked someone on a date in the past year. Why is that? I’ve been asked out by a fair number of men that I was not interested in dating. I’ve also asked out men who were not interested in dating me. And I lived through the rejection–not sure what the big deal is. I don’t think they were disinterested because I denied them the opportunity to chase after me. If so, then I probably didn’t want to date that person anyway. So sometimes I make the first move. Sometimes I don’t.
I love children. I have a very strong bond with my almost-nine-year-old daughter, and I am continually amazed by her boldness, her kindness, and her humor. I don’t love all parts of being a mother all the time, but I can definitively say that I do love children. You’ll have to put up with me striking up a conversation with a five-year-old at a restaurant sometimes, and getting high-fives from preschoolers at the store (this has happened to me in real life. I’m very approachable, apparently).
I also love work. I am ambitious and my brain is always going 100% of the time no matter what. My work challenges me, and I love doing it. I used to think that I could either love children or work, not both, but that’s not true. I’m a better mother, a better friend, and a better partner when I’m fulfilled in all areas of my life, including my career. It’s pretty unlikely that I would choose to be a stay-at-home-mother, and if I add children to my family in the future, I’ll want a partner who will share the work and the joy of having a family. And quite frankly, I think my partner should want that too, and not just put up with it.
So there you have it. Those are all the things you’d have to put up with if you dated me. Oh also, I quote The Office and Parks & Rec incessantly and I play Mario too often, but that’s all, I swear. That’s not all. But just wait until you hear about my strengths.